Now we’re on track

I’ve been meticulously scanning over my past blog entries, some of which are irritably short and more like from a military logbook than a personal journal of thought.  I’ve also noticed that I’ve stopped mentioning any of my current writing projects or reads thanks to the very psychotic Goodreads.  This needs to be rectified immediately.  Now.  Here.  After all, I’m way overdue for an up-close and personal entry.  Let’s get up-to-date!

Brief update (we don’t want to give them more attention than they deserve, now do we?): More changes to the site have been implemented.  The Examiner seems to never get enough of changes.  My review quota is now 330 book reviews and 212 movie reviews in total.

According to Goodreads, I read approximately 30 books in 2011, all of varying length.  I finally finished the Twilight series, the Harry Potter series…I read many classics and young adult books…I also took adult fiction seriously for the first time.  Island by Jane Rogers was an ear-bleeding challenge that was worth it in the end.  I fell in love (or close to it) with Rebecca Cantrell’s Hannah Vogel series after reading the author’s dream casting of her main characters (especially Michael Fassbender as the enigmatic Lars), which in turn led me to reading volume #3 (A Game of Lies) right after volume #1 (A Trace of Smoke).  Now all I have to do is read volume #2 (A Night of Long Knives) and I’ll be prepared for volume #4 (A City of Broken Glass), which comes out this July.  However, now I’m set on reading some recommended books, one of which is Dodie Smith’s I Capture the Castle (thank you Bookshop Talk and Romola Garai!).  I have big plans for my reading list, because several new series are on it.  The order in which I will read them is, thanks again to Goodreads, the only unpredictable thing left.  Signing up for a delightful site called NetGalley is one of the few benefits of my book reviews for the Examiner.  For once, I just may be able to review e-book ARCs before the books are released to the public.  Hopefully.


My last blog entry outlined some of my troubles that have recurred in 2012 already.  Now I’m going to add to the list.  It seems that despite previous warnings, the Fresno Police Department and its Gestapo members will not desist in their constant harrassment of me and my mom.  They won’t leave us in peace.  Why, last Sunday (Jan. 29) at 11:30 p.m., we were bothered yet again by another swaggering and rude Nazi in uniform who tried to interrogate us out of turn and threaten us.  The same “procedure” repeated a few days later at night (Feb. 2 at 10:30 p.m.) and during broad daylight.  Yes, broad daylight.  This all makes me wonder if living in Europe during World War II was as terrifying and dangerous as living in Fresno now.  After all, during those times the world was in a state of war, but now we’re supposedly in a state of PEACE.  Yeah right.

Back to the drawing board from my reality check-list: what am I watching these days?  Well, I got to watch series 4 of the British TV show Merlin at the same time as the British, and since October 2011, I’ve been faithfully following season 1 of Once Upon a Time, an American TV show that is creative, original, and very appreciative of fairy tales.  I like them.  All too much.  Conclusion: I’m attached to Merlin, Once Upon a Time…and Colin Morgan.  Ahem.

Anyway…the horror of being in my shoes and the glaring lack of change for the better in my life is only adding more loads to my heavy bundle of pessimism.  Or couldn’t you tell?  Congratulations, loyal reader.  Together, we’re now on top of the events in my life so far in 2012.

Natalie Gorna

Evil is rising

Here we go.  At 12 a.m., on June 27th, my mom and I were deeply asleep in our car.  Until an unidentified bozo woke us up.  This moron didn’t ever bother to introduce himself, but he started bossing us around nonetheless by issuing threats and general harassment.  He appeared to be dressed like a sheriff’s deputy, but who knows for sure?  It was late at night and he popped out of nowhere, like a snake from its hole.  Regardless, my mom was not going to show him her ID because he demanded it or because he said to do it “because he said so.”  What a tyrannical maniac!  He demanded that we open our doors (?), and when we refused, he threatened that he was going to do something that wasn’t nice.  Besides, we had already stated our business in that area and he was already mad before he came to us, fuming like some rabid hyena.  He kept saying things like, “Don’t you know who I am?!” and “You just watch.  What happens next won’t be nice.”  What an a-hole.  He had no right, NO RIGHT, to be threatening and intimidating us, no matter who he was.  We were not committing any crimes.  He was therefore violating our privacy.  Ugh.  And he had no right to ask either of us for ID.  What a liar he was, to boot.  Do you know that when my mom had given him a lecture about injustice and how cops and the whole bloody world had already violated out rights and committed crimes against us, he changed his tune?  Suddenly, from saying that “he didn’t know if we had permission to be where we were” (another bunch of crap), he claimed that because I looked like a 9 year-old girl when I was asleep (?), he had to check on my age.  WHAT???  When I was 10 years old and my mom was teaching at college, the students in her class asked me if I was a college student.  So much for the bozo’s excuse.  This bozo of a “sheriff’s deputy” discriminated against us outright, not to mention threatening, harassing, and intimidating us at midnight.  It looks like the Fresno Sheriff’s Department will have a place of derision on my blog right next to the Fresno and Clovis Police Departments.  That’s just swell.  I would just prefer that things like this would not happen at all, as they are highly unpleasant.

Natalie Gorna

Out of sight, out of mind

I know from experience that there are many terrible situations and circumstances to be trapped in.  I also know that two of the worst feelings in the entire world are: to be terribly afraid when you know you have done nothing wrong; and to be technically free, but feel like you are living a life in prison nevertheless.  You have guessed correctly.  I have felt those two feelings very, very often the past two years, and yesterday was no exception.  Because I was personally harassed again, in a public park, no legitimate reason, by two cops. 

I was sitting in our car by myself, and I certainly look like an adult, not a small child.  However, I was busy with my daily duties, being in a public park or not.  I looked up and I saw two policewomen in a police car staring at me…literally staring for a least a minute or two without moving.  And they were parked right in front of our car.  One of them I think I recognized, while the other reminded me of Animal Farm and how she had the face of a squashed pig.  Anyway, one shrugged, and then they drove further away, hesitating.  They finally left, but not half an hour had passed before another police car approached me…and its driver got out and headed right toward me.  Remember, I was alone…my mom was not with me this time.

This police bozo was a guy, and do you know what he said to me?  The same crap from before…he told me he had gotten a call from someone, saying that I looked “disoriented.”  What?  Come again?  Disoriented?  All right, let’s back up here…if someone truly called in and said I looked like I was literally walking in circles and not knowing where I was or looked sick, they would call an ambulance or something like that, wouldn’t they?  Not the cops.  Second, it is not a crime to sit in a car and distract yourself by reading books or even a nap…it is your legal right.  I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I certainly wasn’t disoriented.  What a word to use.  Ugh.  I generally have a passable sense of direction.  The next thing he wanted was…you guessed right again.  He wanted my ID.  And my mom’s ID. 

Okay, this was already beyond too far.  Someone supposedly called about me…not my mom.  He had no right to ask me for anything, let alone her.  But when my mom saw him approach me alone, of course she came to my defense.  She wanted to leave, but the bozo policeman threatened her with arrest.  Hmmm…that seems to be the major gun in the arsenals of police officers (actual or pretend).  Either they threaten and intimidate you with arrest, or they pull their guns on you.  And what’s with their greeting of “How are you?”  They “cut to the chase” pretty quick after spreading that phony line around, so why bother?  Yes, I’m rolling my eyes right now. 

Okay, we’re back to my story.  To continue…he took my information, since I do not have an ID and I care less about inconsequential details.  I wanted him to stop bothering my mom, you see.  Anyway, he did, but he called up another cop to “help” him.  He laughingly explained the situation to his friend (out of earshot, of course) and then this new policeman came up to us (we were both in the car by now) and asked us what we were doing in the park.  Yeah, as if it were any of their business what we were doing in the park, so long as we weren’t breaking any rules (which we weren’t).  They called about me being “disoriented,” not being in the park.  I told him something, and they decided to leave us alone…after I told them that it was ironic about them “worrying” about my “disorientation”, when punks openly smoke marijuana in that park whenever they like.  Of course, it didn’t end there…police officer #1 stayed in his car without moving in the park for more than an hour after his friend had left.

Now, I ask you…it was strange, wasn’t it, that if those first policewomen who came called up those other policemen to come about my “disorientation,” why didn’t they just get out and ask me about that nonsense in the first place, instead of calling up some other bozos when they were already there in the park?  Second, if not them, than who?  How did this all happen?  There are always teenagers in that park, and no one has called about them being “disoriented” after they openly smoke the acrid fumes of some drug.  Yeah, it leaves an after-smell…it’s disgusting. 

Anyway, this is a mysterious story of my life…it’s recent, it’s up-to-date, and I hate it all very much.  But that’s obvious, isn’t it?

Natalie Gorna