- It’s not even a holiday — the original purpose of “All Hallow’s Eve” was a pre-“celebration” of the following day, November 1, which is All Saint’s Day and commemorates all who have died.
- Dressing up in silly costumes like you’ve been invited to a universal dress-up gathering and then pressing adults for candy — or alcohol, if you’re one of those crazy teenager/adult fanatics — are both immature and childish. The costumes are a sign of creativity, you say? And the candy is a sign of generosity? Be creative in your work and school, and leave the generosity for everyday acts of kindness instead of promoting faux disguises, cavities, and hangover.
- Going nuts over “trick-or-treating.” Who invented this stupid tradition? It’s actually extortion —candy collectors are so sure you’re ready for them with chocolate and lollipops that if you accidentally do not have anything prepared or you simply rebel and refuse to participate, they’ll trash your house or just bug you for hours by ringing the doorbell. You either have to pretend you’re not home and sit in darkness the whole night or be forced to leave home for the remainder of the evening, fearful for the state of your property when you’re away. And don’t get me started on the unsafe idea of parading through dark streets at night just to get a few candy bars…ugh, the memories…
- Why do people like being frightened out of their wits? Isn’t there enough horror, despair, and terror going on everyday in the world that a whole day has been set aside to specially focus on the power of fear?
- Because of Halloween, pumpkins — a happy, healthy squash with an amazing dose of beta carotene — have been forever tainted in being connected to this downright silly day. You’re humiliating a perfectly respectable vegetable, people!
- Confession: it’s my birthday. I should be…happy about it, right? But every time someone discovers this unhappy fact and makes a note of it directly to me, I cringe inside and wince on the outside. Oh, the horror!