Is this good-bye?

Unfortunately for me…the Examiner is staffed by a bunch of sniveling cheats.  And that being said, today is the day I found out that my monthly pay from the Examiner, cir. $35, is going to be cut by more than 50%.  It all started with last week’s upgrades and changes to the site.

Retrospect: the Examiner not only has cheated on me by paying me (approximately) 65/100 of a cent per pageview, it has also paid me only $1 per “locally relevant” article.  And since I focus on doing book and movie reviews, I usually would insert information about where to find the material I was reviewing on a local level.  Somehow, they refuse to accept that anymore.  They are taking away that “$1 per article” solidity from me.  Instead, they want now to force me to write what THEY want me to write.  And I cannot—will not—accept that.

So…in light of how I’ll be paid around $10 a month for pageviews alone, I’m thinking that…I should stop.  2 years and 3 months and 590 reviews (in total) later, I stand on the edge of the writing precipice.  What should I do now?  Of course, I’m devastated how the Examiner, the “lying cheating snake in the grass,” has turned on me like this out of the blue.  I tortured out-of-city, out-of-state, and out-of-country readers enough with that final line at the end of all my reviews, book or movie.  I alone found the courage to contact authors directly about my reviews of their novels and accept their feedback.  I attracted the majority of publicity to my webpages.  And I have slaved, virtually or not, for 2 years at this writing.  This fruitless, dedicated, objective occupation that has caused me more pain than bliss.  And now what?

I cry when I’m angry.  Yes, just like Bella in the Twilight series.  It took me a while to figure out, but it’s a fact now.  I’m very angry about this conclusion.  Every week for…years, I published 6 articles/reviews.   For the first time, I have to come to terms with the fact that my main source of income is gone and I must decide if I want to keep writing for free.  Because ten dollars is like beggars’ cash.  Not worth spit.  Not worth my hourly toil and my outside reading.  And I don’t know what to do now that I’ve lost the discipline I gained in this weekly task and my determination to succeed.  I won the battles over payment many times, but I’ve definitely lost the war now.  And the worst part of losing is…I no longer feel like writing anymore… 😦

Natalie Gorna

5 thoughts on “Is this good-bye?

  1. Slava April 3, 2012 / 11:15

    Did you know artists usually draw pictures of the second sort for selling? They live not by drawing famous genius pictures, they also do numbers of just fine pictures for selling. I thought maybe their method would be interesting for you. Although, I know what you mean. If work’s worthy to be done, it’s worthy to be done good.


    • Natalie Gorna April 3, 2012 / 13:07

      Yes, I know. My mom’s an artist, so I’ve learned to recognize second-hand, second-best work when I see it. But with writing, there is not really any second-best. I know that Jo from the novel “Little Women” wrote short stories to sell so her family would survive, but I don’t think you can make a living off of that these days. There’s no demand when people can go to libraries and read fiction, all kinds, for free.

      Yes, work should be done well. It’s almost like a moral obligation. 🙂


  2. Slava April 3, 2012 / 00:36

    Hello Natalie.
    If I were you, I would see two ways:
    1) find another way to earn $10 a month,
    2) do what they want, but without paying much attention to how good or bad your articles are. Is it possible? Do they correct your works? Do they read them at all? There’s an interesting saying in Russia — they pretend they pay me, and I pretend I work for them.

    If you’re ok with it, you might continue writing for them, but without putting your soul into your texts, at the same time doing works for another employers.


    • Natalie Gorna April 3, 2012 / 09:16

      Slava: It’s not the $10. I was making $35 before, and I care less about my pageviews. I know, I know…your recommendations are the logical “solutions” to the problem at hand. Except that submitting lousy work or work without much effort is against my principles and goes against my nature – no narcissism here, just a fact. I always try to do my best, it’s part of me. I simply don’t know what to do…either way. Hence, my despair.


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